My first recollection of school is that I remember reading the
New Testament in the first chapter of John. My black cat would walk
by my side when I crossed the fields to go to school and was always
waiting for me, when I was dismissed. One day, my cat was not
waiting for me. I ran home to find the cat. My father would not
tell me for some time what had happened. When he finally got ready
to tell me, I had to promise not to cry. Oh, childhood's sorrows
were great on the day my cat died! We have enough to bear from the
cradle to the grave. It was my first trouble.
While walking with my father one day he commenced coughing and
burst a blood vessel. He only lived a few months after this and
before I was eight years of age, I was fatherless. We kept his body
ten days before it was consigned to the earth. Of course it was
winter when he died. He looked so nice we could have kept him
longer. He did not believe in any religion when he died. I never
was taught religion by him. He died very calm. A few hours before
he died, he told my mother to get a neighbor in for he would die
at one o'clock in the morning. Mother sent for Mrs. Groves and a
few minutes before he died he bid them all good bye. He wanted
mother to fetch me to him to kiss me good bye but she thought I
should disturb him by crying. He died when the clock struck one
as he had told mother he should.
My mother was compelled to work very hard to support us and pay
my school bills. She was a noble woman and when she became ill
through working too hard, she would plead with the Lord to spare
her life to raise us. But I was deprived of a mother's care twice
for some time as she went to a hospital. I spent a great deal of my
young days with a lady named Jackson. She was very fond of me and
would let me stay away from school. I might have been better
educated if she had not allowed me to stay with her. The dear lady
lost her sight, but I loved her dearly.
When I was about ten years old, I would beg of mother to let me
go to work for my living. After I was eleven years old I worked at
making shirts and would earn about fifty cents a week. I was very
pleased when I brought my wages home. In a few months she
apprenticed me to dress-making, for which I received no pay. I was
kept busy taking dresses home and going to the stores to match
trimmings. The ladies I worked for were Miss Grey and Miss Laughlen.
I spent my fourteenth birthday there, and my beau would be waiting
for me when I left for the evening, and I would take a walk every
evening7. What history of a girl's life is
complete without a beau? It reminds me of the song I sang then. "I
was merry, I was merry, when my little lover came, with a lily or a
cherry or some new invented game." In my happy days I met my fate.
I was sent for at Phyllis Robinson's. I had worked with her. It was
Sunday. I went and saw her brother. My mother asked what I was sent
for. I replied: "To see my future husband." "Silly child," my mother
replied. I never heard your talk so foolish." His family was making
so much of him as he had just returned from a voyage to sea that he
did not notice me. After a month or two he went to sea again. My boy
lovers wanted me to promise to marry them. I told them I would have
to marry the man that had gone to sea for five years. I was working
and getting good wages, working for a Jewess. There were thirteen
young girls in the same room. My boy lover came one night to see me
home and said he had seen that sailor. My sailor expected to lose
(his) sight as he was blind in one eye8
and was afraid he would lose the sight of the other. We got
married, so ends the love affairs.
I know I often said things to my mother and they came true. We
can prophesy in part. I turned sixteen when I married. I thought I
could do as I pleased now,-- no mother to say when I should come
home. Was I not a married child? I should not be obliged to be home
on the minute. In fact, I was mistress. Poor child! I went to my
work as usual for five months. My mother was in the hospital, my
husband was in Woolwich, and I lived in my mother's cottage. When
she came home I went on board the ship with my husband.
When I was seventeen years old my eldest son was born at my
mother's residence, June 16, 1847. He was named George Frederick.
My eldest daughter, Ann Catherine, was born Oct 27, 1848, at the
same place. When she was two weeks old her father heard the gospel.
My husband told me what he had heard—the strange news that an angel
had appeared to Joseph Smith. I listened and then said, "George, it
is true." I believed every word of it, and we were baptized in the
river Thames on Christmas night, 1848. We were living on board
one of her Majesty's ships at the time. It was customary to lock the
door to the boat when we came on shore and leave it safe. We came to
the boat at about twelve at night. Brother Jarvis found out he had
forgotten the key of his boat. I had to stay outside in the cold in
the rowboat with my two babies, one seven weeks old and the eldest
sixteen months. The night was bitter cold and dark. When Brother
Jarvis came back with the key he rowed us to the ship which was at
Woolwich. I believed we were honest in going into the water that
Christmas night and believed with all our hearts and the Lord was
well pleased with us. We did not obey the commandments to please
our friends or relatives. Our only motive was to do right for we
had no friends or relatives in the Church. Our friends disliked us
after we joined the Church. When our third child was born at my
mother's house, we named him Brigham. Brother Jarvis dreamed before
our son was born that his name should be Brigham. The President
wanted Brother Jarvis to be useful so he left the Royal Navy and
joined the Poplar Branch of the Church. I had Brigham blessed by
President Savage of the White chapel Branch,--father of our
professor and teacher, Nephi M. Savage. I moved to Garden Place
and lived on land, or as the sailors would say, "on shore". My
husband was ordained a teacher and then a priest; in the evening.
On Sundays, we would go a distance to try to raise another branch.
I would go with him to start the singing. Brother Jarvis was
Superintendent of the Sunday School in our Branch and was counselor
to the President of the branch and was always active in magnifying
his Priesthood. His wages were very small, scarcely enough to enable
us to obtain the necessaries of life. As we wished to comply with
the calls that were made, we were obliged to cease using sugar and
we would do only with bread and water for months. I felt rather ill
at times as I was always dainty and wanted a relish. I was always
able to dress well. Brother Jarvis and the children were always
dressed in the best. I could make the clothes and sometimes earn
some money making clothes for others. We never spent money for
medicine, only once. My eldest daughter had a very severe fever,
we had her administered to by the Elders. She was getting worse.
Brother Jarvis would think she was gone when he came home for his
work. He said we would get into trouble if she died without a
doctor, so we had a doctor for her. The medicine was six bits a
day, according to his orders I would pour it away. Still she did
not get better, so I prayed to the Lord to let me know what I was
to do. I told Him I kept the Word of Wisdom and I had her blessed
by the Elders and I wanted to know in a dream what to do. I had a
dream that night, that I must fast so I fasted and then called a
brother in to administer to her and then I frightened the doctor
so he never came again. He came in the parlor as usual and he spoke
very low and said, "She is gone." Then I said, "Yes sir, she is
gone,--into the kitchen." He went with me into the kitchen. I know
the change was so great he was frightened. It was a miracle, certainly.
I will write a few lines about the cholera. I was home with my
mother when it as so bad that cards were posted about warning you
that if anyone was taken with it and you did not send word to
persons appointed to take them to the Pest House, you were under
a heavy penalty. You were not allowed to have a doctor at your home.
A child that had played with my boy in the evening, the following
morning was dead. Close neighbors to us, while the woman was putting
her things on to follow her husband to the grave, was taken with it
and in two hours they buried her with him.
My brother went with a man to bury his wife and he declares he
heard her scream while going to the grave. They expected to hear
that my mother or I had passed away before morning. They did not
know which one of us it was that had the cholera. I implored my
mother not to send me to the Pest House, or I should die. We were
miles from the Elders. What could I do, or what could my mother do
with my baby in her arms? I had, by good fortune, a bottle of
consecrated oil and it was where I could see it in the window when
I could not speak, but I pointed to the bottle of oil. My mother
did not know but what it was hair oil. I had not told her about it.
I had told her about baptism and she did not believe. She had been
baptized when an infant. She thought I was delirious but she gave
me the oil to pacify me. I asked the Lord to add to my testimony
and I was healed. My mother said I was quite black in the face. I
do not say I should have died if I had not used the oil, but I do
know those that did recover were six weeks or more before they got
well. The stench was so bad, mother had to burn things to sweeten
the rooms. I was up and told my brother and others of the goodness
of the Lord to me. I was laughed to scorn but I give God the glory
to this day, for I know he answers prayers, and I am writing this
brief sketch for my children benefit. It will not be writing that
would do for the educated. I am glad today that I worked to help my
poor mother. If she had her own way she would have kept me at school
until I was perfect in grammar and other studies.
I often wish I had been more thoughtful for my poor dear mother.
I love to dwell on her memory. Although, in my zeal for the gospel,
I told her she would go to hell if she was not baptized. When I
heard of her death, I felt heaven would be no heaven for me without
her.
We were always liberal with our small means, helped pay the rent
for the meeting, giving to the Temple Fund, and always helped to pay
for gold watches for the Elders. We were ever ready with our
portion, denying our appetites. I have often seen the hand of the
Lord in returning that we have given with interest,---Brother Jarvis
and myself. I could tell of fifty times when we have given the last
money we had and thought we would have to sell or pawn our clothes
to get bread, and we have had it returned to us with interest. I am
certain if our faith was greater in this respect it could be better
for us.
My brother came one night to tell me my mother was dying. He
said, "The doctor has given her up but she cannot die without
seeing you." This was about eleven o'clock at night. Brother
Jarvis was at our Branch party. I told my brother I could not
leave my children until their father came home to take care of
them. When he came home, he would not let me go until daylight.
I cried and prayed those hours and went in the morning. As soon
as I entered the room she said, "Oh, Anne, as soon as I saw you
enter the room I felt better. Oh, my," she said, "I had dreamed
that I had my money in your name to bury me. I wanted to die in
your arms, and when I do die I shall not have you with me." She
thought my husband went to her and told her we were going go the
Salt Lake Valley. "Oh," she said, "I never can say good-bye to my
darling child." The dream troubled her so much she thought if she
left the cottage she had lived in over twenty-five years and lived
with my sister she could bear the parting better. So she went to
live with my sister. When I would go and see her she would feel bad
and say: "I have no home now for you to come to." Of course an aged
person would be dissatisfied so she came home to the same
neighborhood. Her dream was realized in a short time. When the time
came, my mother would come and see me. After she would go home,
father would say, "Have you told your mother?" I would if I could.
He thought it was wrong not to tell her, so he went to her one day
and when he told her, she fell on her chair and said: "I can never
say good-bye." What else she said he never would tell me. In the
dark hour of my trial she has been with me in my dreams to comfort
me. She would have come with me although over seventy years old. I
am glad she did not. I am told she often said, my religion was right
before she died. She was a good woman. I know she was a noble woman,
and to think I shall see her again when I lay my body down, it
almost makes me want to go. I shall never have a friend quite so
true to me under all circumstances. Peace to her memory! She said:
"When I do die, I cannot have you with me." Her words were true, as
I was in St. George, Utah, when she died. When we parted, she said
it was worse than death. Oh, the agony of mind when we part from
those we love! Knowing I was obeying God's command comforted me, and
I never realized how my poor mother felt, until I had children
leave. The next thing to be thought of was to get the money to get
to Zion with, but with our economy we could not get means with which
to emigrate and my husband, in counsel with President Purdy was
advised to take a voyage to try and get means with which to
emigrate. We had two children born at Poplar,--Amelia, born January
3, 1853, and Samuel, April 18, 1855. Parting again, my husband
started for China. While absent on this voyage, I washed for other
families and lived frugally, and by so doing, did not owe what he
earned. His wages were only enough for a family of six to live on
and pay rent if I got it all. He left me half, and that the owner
refused to pay me. He paid some women that were dressed in rags. I
was dressed in a silk dress, velvet, and kid gloves, and he thought
I did not have want of any money. Some of the women would spend the
money in drink. When I told the owner I was dependent on my
husband's wages to support his family he thought I was respectably
connected and could borrow. It was a great trial to be in a great
city with means where the greatest sin is poverty, where everything
tempting was exposed for sale,--delicious fruits of every kind. The
uncertainty of my husband's return was a great trial, for I heard of
the deaths of many of his shipmates. I was unable to get any news
of him or from him. When he left I was only twenty-five, not strong
minded, not self reliant. I was the youngest. The next one to me, my
sister, was seven years older, so I had been the pet and baby and I
often wished I had not married. I called at my mother's home once
when I had walked over seven miles to try and get some money from
the owner for rent. I laid on her bed and dreamed I was a young girl
at home and didn't have my present responsibilities. I let a room to
help pay the rent . Found out I had let it to a prostitute and got
her away, and then let it to an aged man and his wife. I found to my
sorrow, the woman was just out of the asylum, and she ought to be
sent back again I would have to stay up every night until twelve,
till her husband came home.
I passed through many trials, which, if I wrote, my children
could not understand as their lost is cast in a different place.
I did not receive any news from my husband, but he sent me twenty
pounds. That helped. My Amelia had fractured her shoulder, and I
was very excited. It was so bad that the doctor sent me to the
hospital. I put the money in my bosom for fear a beggar might steal
it as the children were young. When I was carrying my little girl to
the hospital I missed it, --the purse with the twenty pounds. I
looked for it but could not find it. I told George we should have
to go without a fire and bread that winter. He felt bad. He was
about seven years old at that time. He looked about for it and found
it in a small shed in the yard where I had not been for years. I was
greatly puzzled and am to this day. The little fellow said to me:
"The Angel knew we would suffer, so when you dropped it in the road
he picked it up and put it where I could find it." He had great
faith so I never contradicted him. When he scalded his feet I put
on one of my best shoes and I saw the grease was spoiling my shoe
on the cloth and I told him he would have to sit on the chair, I
could not let him have my shoe again. I heard him when he went
upstairs, with the rest of them, pray and tell his Heavenly Father
all about it. He asked the Lord to heal it right, so he could wear
his own shoes, and his foot was healed the next morning. I let him
pray and be chaplain for the rest. I would let him always use his
own ideas. He would not know I could hear him.
When Brother Jarvis went away the chief engineer said he would
have him stay with him on the steamboat that was to run from
Shanghai to Hong Kong, and he thought he would get enough money to
emigrate us, but Bro. Jarvis said he would go if he had to go
without a change of clothes. As soon as he reached his destination,
the chief engineer discharged him and kept another man on. Brother
Jarvis wanted to know if he did not please him He said,"Yes, George,
but you are a married man. I think you had better go back to
England." Brother Jarvis was vexed as he knew he would not have
enough money to emigrate so he tried to get on other steamboats,
but he had a large boil on his arm and went to the hospital. They
charged him four dollars a day. Everything was against his wishes
to stay in China, so he went on top of a mountain to ask the Lord
what to do. The impression was, "Go home," so he started for England
and the first port they stopped at, they heard of the massacre of
the European sailors where he had come from.
The last Chinese war had begun with England. Had he stayed there,
he might have been one of the slain, but the Lord had worked on the
heart of that man, the chief engineer, who was fond of him and would
rather have had him with him than any other, but against the wishes
of all, he had ordered George to come home. When he returned we had
barely enough money to pay our passage to Boston, but we paid it to
the agent. I think it was Brother Budge. For six weeks we lived on
some ship biscuit full of weevils or worms. We parted from my mother
on Monday night. On Tuesday morning, at four o'clock, I passed the
place that I had loved and my mother and I knew I should never see
them again. I never want to feel like I did then.
We arrived at Liverpool and Brother Budge had a nice lodging
place. Brother Jarvis came with one suit of clothes. We did not
bring anything for our use with us. I had a nice furnished house.
We left good new carpets on the floors. Brother Jarvis would not
let me bring anything with us. I must say we were young and foolish,
for in one month we wanted things for our own use again. We sailed
on the good ship, "Washington." The servants of God, Orson Pratt and
others, promised us a prosperous voyage, and we realized they spoke
by the spirit of God. Plenty of singing on board. When some of the
Saints would say, " I would rather be where I was, " I knew I was happy.
Then I dreaded living in Boston. If it had been a city of Saints,
I might have felt different. They had paid the passage of a brother
to cook for the Saints but he was seasick. There were eight hundred
Saints. They found that father was a seafaring man and wished him to
cook for them. I thought I would have quite a treat and a pleasure
trip with my husband. I do not think I exchanged a dozen words with
him on the voyage. He cooked for the eight hundred with one
assistant. Brother Musser called me to go in the hospital with a
sick sister that had looked so jolly and my husband had to be at his
post twelve hours. He would go to bed as soon as his work was done
and be at his duty before six in the morning. This dear sister was
buried in the deep and left her newborn babe to the care of by her
husband with two or three other children. We buried, I think, an old
brother, too. I was sorry to see land. My husband went to get
lodging for us. No one was very willing to have a family of seven
off a ship, but father declared we had no fever and were healthy.
The Saints had all landed and had gone to the Valley or to different
places but one sister,-- an old maid, and a cross one at that. She
told me she had no place to go. I told her that I was sure Brother
Jarvis would let her have a room with us. I told him when he came
back we could not leave her here alone. He said he had rented a room
at one dollar a week, so we went to our new home. It was a large
room close to the water, large enough, without any furniture to put
in it. This sister went out and got a situation and the first thing
I did was to cry. I felt a stranger in a strange land. If I was at
home, I would not let my rooms to an Irish person, but I was glad to
have a room of them. There were four or five families in that house.
I would not let my children play about the doors and I was afraid to
let them go to the windows for fear they would fall out. My husband,
bought a second hand stove. I had never seen one before. We did not
want it very bad for we could not get anything to eat. He could not
get work. This sister, if she went to a situation one day, she would
be back the next to scold me, and only to think of it,-- two women
in one room. I expect the people of the house thought she was his
other wife. They knew we were Mormons. It was a struggle to pay so
much for rent, when father could get only a day's work in a week or
two. We moved to the upper room and it was only a dollar a week.
This Irish landlady would say, "I have known many Englishmen mix
with the Irish and drink with them until they got work, but your
husband is so stiff." They were kindhearted and several times when
I would buy a pound of flour, for my landlady kept a store, some one
of the Irish women would want to give me a pan of flour, but I
thought if I might starve I had not come to be a beggar. To add to
my troubles, we had brought the measles into the house. My little
girl had them. The landlady felt so bad she said if the authorities
knew it they would send her to the Island, like they did her sister
when she landed. I was sure it would hurt me if it did not kill the
child. She said all her lodgers would leave her and she said she
wished she had not let the room to us. I promised not to let anyone
know it. After two or three of my children were over it, her heavy,
stout child took it. I offered to walk about with the child one
Saturday when she was busy in the store. I carried it about all day
except for a half hour when she supposed I had gone to have my
dinner, but I had no food,-- not one mouthful for the children.
I thought how angry she would be if she lost the child through me,
and her child was very bad and had bad symptoms. I was fasting and
I laid my hands on the child and prayed fervently if the Lord wanted
the child back again not to let it go then with that disease, and
prayed that the disease might be banished from the house. Well, I
had my prayers answered, although the landlady had more children and
the lodgers had children that had never had the disease, who escaped
it. It left the house, but after I had left the house some six
months, the child died suddenly. Some would think it just happened
so, I feel to thank the Lord it did happen so. My health was bad.
The stove, the smell of fish, and being half starved too. Brother
Jarvis got work at a dollar a day wheeling crabs in a large
wheelbarrow, and the Irishmen would try to run him off. We could
only afford bread. Father would walk seven miles in and out, making
fourteen miles a day, and the men did not want and Englishman to work,
so he had to leave there.
My Maggie was born in that house in Boston City, where the
Irishmen would get drunk and sometimes would spatter the blood on my
door. I tried to do the work for my family, but was very sick with a
fever. I had no nurse for my baby. For four months, I could not
raise my hand to my head. They thought I should die. I should like
to have died but for the children. I took no food; the old lady that
lived in the next room would give me a spoonful of some herb tea.
One day, I wanted some fresh fish. She said, "Now you want
something to eat, it will tell the tale whether you die or live."
I had prayed to the Lord to know if I had to leave my children
motherless in a foreign land and I had been told in a dream I should
go to Zion. We moved to East Boston and Sister Mitchie moved to live
next door to me, her husband moved to please her. When father heard
through Brother Crouch he could get work at a dollar a day in
Ashland, about twenty-seven miles from the city. So he went and left
me in charge of a brother who would take me to the depot. In a
month, I was on the move again. The brother that was to take me to
the depot, told me the railway men were cheats. If I had not enough
to pay extra charges they would take my things. I was so childish, I
believed in him. I let him have my chairs, dishes, stove, and all we
had got for our use, and a splendid white counter pane, a gift from
my mother. Then his wagon broke and I had to pay a man to take me to
the depot. When father met me and expected me to have things, I only
had my three small boxes. The man soon got married and had my things
to start housekeeping with. The brother and sister moved back again.
Ashland was in a small healthy place. There was one family of
Saints there and the village gossips would meet and discuss the
news. They were kind to Sister Crouch but they did not like me.
She would tell them her husband forced her to come and she was one
with them. When they talked to me I told them if my husband did not
want to go to Salt Lake City, I would go when I had a chance, so I
lost their sympathy for good. My husband had been there a short time
when he left and went to the city again and left us there. My son
George worked at pegging shoes and earned one dollar and a half.
They never paid him anything but frozen potatoes and if they were
good when I had them they soon froze when I got them. It was the
coldest winter I ever experienced. Father could get no work. This
Sister Crough said when father left his employment that it was wrong
to leave his work and winter coming on and asked who he expected
would keep his family. I told her his family would never eat a meal
at her expense. We suffered for food and for fire,- for fuel.
Brother Crouch would come in to see us. I would leave the table set
with butter and other things that were kept so he would see we did
not want for anything. Sister Mitchie loaned money to get me from
Ashland.. Father came one night and we had to be ready the next
morning. In driving to the depot father drove the team against the
curb and I was thrown out, but I got in again and boarded the cars.
As father could not get any work, (it was the time that the banks
all failed and there was a panic) I had to leave my boy. That was
one of the great trials of my life for he was so steady and was such
a comfort to me. We stayed with Brother Paxman two weeks until
father cleaned a dirty house an Irish family had occupied. He
whitewashed it and planed boards. We carpeted the four rooms and
made it look nice. He bought a large new stove in Ashland, bedsteads
and chairs, so we were looking nice again. He got a few week's work.
My seventh child was born and he had earned enough to pay the nurse
and doctor and we paid for a barrel of crackers and paid Sister
Mitchie. But he was out of work again and money, and we had to live
on getting a pound of flour when we could. But by the Fourth of July,
my son came home to spend the Fourth at East Boston with us. The
Saints were all going to Melrose to spend the Fourth so I had my
four girls dressed alike in blue, and my three boys. Father had a
nice spring wagon. Brother Dyer of Salt Lake, Brother Paxman of
American Fork, Brother Eardley and many others were of the party.
All of us were there. I said to father and Sister Paxman, "Shall we
ever all be together again?" I had reference to my own family as
George was going back to Ashland the next day. We never were all out
together again. My health was very poor. Although I had swollen to
such a size I had no dress I could wear, Brother George Q. Cannon
came to administer to me and persuaded father to try to get to
Florence or Winter Quarters. He said, I, of course might die if I
went but it was my only chance. I had a dream. I thought I went to
a telegraph office and they gave me a telegram that I had to bury a
child. The next night I dreamed I saw my son, George, very ill and
he had a large brown coat on. I took some comfort in thinking George
had not got a large coat or a brown one. As soon as he was out of
danger, they sent him home and I told him my dream. He said they put
his master's brown coat on him when they gave him a vapor bath. I
awoke one night with the touch of the Cholera, and then my baby
girl, Francis Elizabeth, took it. I felt certain she would die. I
carried her to our President for him to administer to her. Her
father was away, from home. He was holding his baby after he had
blessed mine. I said to him, "I wish my baby was well like yours."
He said, "She will be alright in a few days." I said, "Yes, in a
week from now she will be as well as yours. She will be out of her
trouble." He said, "What did you bring her to me for?" I said,
"Because her father is away, but she will die." She was dead before
the week was out. I went to the meeting with her the next night and
while the President was talking, delivering his lecture, she danced
in my arms and cooed to him. He said, "Bless your pretty soul." And
when some of the brethren and sisters were given a turn to speak, I
gave the hymn out to be sung, "The Resurrection Day," because I felt
that when I was there again my baby would be gone from me until
resurrection day. My dream was fulfilled. The only thing was to sell
my stove. Father had bought sixty pounds of geese feathers and a
linen tick. I sold the stove, and bed and gave my furniture away and
with three hundred pounds we started for Florence. When we got
there, father was employed by President Cannon to make tents and
wagon covers. Father wanted to get a handcart and hurry to the
Valley. Bro. Cannon said I should come comfortably in his wagon.
Some nights when we went to bed in a large building, we would be
afloat in the night as there was no protection from the rain. We
did very well. We might have had a very good time on the plains if
Brother Cannon had been along, but the "if" was wanting. There was
a man by the name of Hunt who had joined the Church. His wife had
been in some years before but had been cut off. She had been a
Spiritualist. The Saints in new York helped them to Florence.
Brother Cannon had a team lightly loaded so the two families could
come with it. He put the team in this man's charge. The oxen and
wagons had been sent several days from Florence a few miles on where
there was food for the cattle. One day, we were told to follow. We
carried our cooking utensils and marched along. It was a warm day,
and I would have liked to lie down for my head ached. When we
arrived at the wagon we were destined to walk by it and hang our
cooking utensils underneath. I had not seen Brother and Sister Hunt.
I saw her now dressed in bloomer costume. She was busy cooking for
the journey. We leaned against the wagon. I stood there and the first
words she said were, "Bill, who is that man that is cutting your
wagon?" My husband had better sense than to cut a wagon. I was sick
and homeless and tired. I did not know enough to sit in the dirt
after walking all day. I began to learn a few things. They were very
unkind to us. If we put our baby at the back end of the wagon, they
would close it. Some of my children never rode a minute on that
journey. My boy of five has walked eighteen miles without resting.
He was the only one that rode in the wagon, and they would beat him
so he did not want to ride. Brother Jarvis never rode but once and
that was in Brother Morris's wagon. One daughter declares she rode
across the plains on her mother's bustle. One day I felt grieved,
for my son, Brigham, was sick and could not walk and I mustered up
courage to ask the President to let him have the horse and drive
the loose stock. He said, "Let him ride in your wagon. It has the
least freight." I knew that Brother Hunt would not let him do that.
He let Brig have the horse and I drove the stock myself and let him
ride without the trouble of attending to them. I was a happy woman,
for only a few moments, for the President's brother came up and made
him get off his horse.
The wagon wheel went over the leg of Samuel, aged five. They all
carried their sack on their backs and the powder flash was like it
had been twisted, but it saved the boy's leg. Brother Jarvis says
handcarts were easier than carrying the children and standing guard.
He had to stand guard more than his turn as there was some that
would not take their turn. He would put up the tent and often cook.
I would say, "Those that can eat must cook." I would be so used up,
some of the Company would scold this brother for not walking more
and let me ride. But he soon left the Church. I think my trials will
compare in some respects with the women of the Book of Mormon
history. My son, Heber, was born a few weeks after I was in the
valley. I was delighted with the valley and was pleased to be able
to see the see the Prophet of God. We were blest with plenty of
food. Father worked for Brigham. I felt thankful to be able to see
Brigham Young, the lion of the Lord. The Lord did bless us. Brigham
paid his hands good beef and flour. My husband worked in the paper
mill by day and cultivated a farm by night. He raised a good crop.
My husband went to work and up to this year, we have worked hard
for all we have had. I feel thankful for this. We have heard that
Brother and Sister Hunt left the Church. I cannot think he was ever
in it. He might have been born of the water, but not of the Spirit
or he would not ride in the wagon and let his brother that had the
same right to ride sometimes, walk and let me carry my children on
my back. I feel to blush for him when I think of him and his cruel
treatment which we endured without murmuring.
My little girl, Maggie, was about three years old when we moved
in the sixth ward. One morning, before it was time to get up she
said to her father in her baby way, "What do you think I dreamed?"
He said, "I do not know." She said, "I dreamed a man brought us
two rabbits." Before an hour had passed, Brother Brown, who came in
our company and had been out shooting, left two large hares for us.
He had never spoken to us before and he never brought us any again,
so the child had never had anything to make her dream. In her later
life she would have dreams that were as true as that one.
The rain came in this little house and only by the fireplace was
a dry spot. I would do everything I could to keep the bed dry for
the baby but all to no purpose. I put my feet in a puddle of water.
One night, I was so tired of losing my sleep that I collapsed down
by the fire. After a time, my eldest son tried to wake me, but I
could not et up, but I told him I would not get up. I said I must
sleep if I did burn and I could not get up. So he put the quilt
away from me and put the fire out. The next day, I was surprised to
see a place burned large enough for me to go through without
touching it. If the smoke had affected him as it did me we should
have been burned to death. That was the third time in my life I felt
to thank my guardian angel who had watched over us.
Once I had been the means of saving my mother's life and what
seemed strange to me then was I was such a heavy sleeper. There
were three boards of the floor burned and the sparks were flying.
It only wanted a door opened and it would be in flames. One
evening, before I left England, a young brother called at my house.
His girl would meet him at my house and we would all go to the
night meeting. This night she was late and we concluded to go
without her when we smelled smoke. I looked in the bedroom where
five of my children were. I looked in the front bedroom and then in
the parlor and in the kitchen. I could not find fire but the smell
of smoke was stronger. At last I looked in the cupboard that held
coal, candles and one of two stools with carpet on them. This was
under the stairs. If this sister had not been detained, the stairs
would have been burned, and I dare not think what would have been
the consequences.
The ship caught fire that we crossed the ocean in. The steamboat
caught fire on the river, but the Lord must have given his Angels
charge of us to preserve us by land and sea. I feel to give Him
thanks for all His goodness.
The first Sunday I was in the city, my Maggie fell in a well. I
did not know there was one on the lot. After we moved to Sugar house
Ward, she was saved twice from being drowned. Brother Jarvis moved
to the Sugar house Ward. We took two families in. One was Brother
Turner. We had ten head of stock but not any provisions for
themselves or stock. Father worked in the paper mill by day and
cultivated a piece of land by night. He raised a good crop. Brother
Turner was unsettled and wanted to go somewhere to settle for he
knew we could not always keep them, although we were doing well.
George was keeping himself working for Brother Eardley at the
Pottery, Brig at the Nail Factory. Brother Jarvis became unsettled.
Some days they would talk about Cache Valley. At the October
Conference, 1861, Brigham called for volunteers to Dixie. My husband
was one of the volunteers. He had no wagon and he always said he
would never travel again without a team. I felt grieved. I had
suffered on the plains to come to Headquarters. We were doing well
and I thought we would have to go though poverty and privations for
which we would get no credit,-- we would bring them upon ourselves.
Brother Brigham asked him if he wold rather stay and help put on the
roof on the theater that winter. "No sir, I would rather go," he
said. They were to make arrangements for Brother Eldridge to bring
him. If he had done so, we have been in debt to this day. When
Brother Jarvis was determined to come, I advised him to buy and old
wagon that a brother did not think was safe to start with from
Nauvoo, but Brother Brigham told him to start with it and he came
with it all right, so Brother Jarvis bought it. He went to Brigham
to buy a yoke of steers, but the President said, "You will want
cattle that are steady for that journey." The President was owing
him enough to get a good yoke of cattle, so for Dixie Land we
started. We had cleared $100.00 and kept one family in laziness,
I might say, three months. I will say how the man was. He would
lie around smoking his pipe while a boy not ten years old was
working in the nail factory. The other family only stayed two weeks.
We brought with us a large amount of Eardley's ware. I would not
want much of it as a gift to carry it five, or four, or three
hundred miles over such roads. My boy, Samuel, told Brother Turner
he would be Bro. Turner's second wife if he would let him ride. We
walked most of the way and the children and I would move rocks and
make it better for the wagon. When we arrived, here on the 5th of
December 1861, on the adobe yard, it was not a promised land unto
us. Christmas Day we had bran for dinner. I did not have a stove to
cook with and it rained forty days and nights The first meal I had
on my city lot was some flax seed, and I was always dainty. By all
working, we never had a hundred dollars surplus, and I have seen my
children cry. I have seen the silent tear roll down their cheeks. I
was about thirty-one years old and had eight children. One was in
East Boston, but the other seven were alive and hearty, hungry
children. My husband was strong and did not know his own strength.
He was willing to work and there was plenty of work, but you had to
board yourself.
They made ditches and the first tunnel in Utah. But there was
some grumbling because some shorts was furnished and we ate too
much cane seed, at seven cents a pound. We sold the splendid cattle
for a few hundred of flour; mortgaged our land after it was
cultivated for one hundred and seventy-five pounds of flour. I
expect we would have sold ourselves for flour if anyone would have
bought us. I bought a span of pigs. They would follow me like dogs,
but they died when they were quite large.
I had a daughter born on March 21, 1863. I cut up some of the
tent for her--well, I won't say what for. I had washed for Mrs.
Birch for several months. I would get a little soap or grease.
She let me have enough bleach to make a few night dresses. I had
two flannel petticoats left, so I used them. Brother Orson Pratt
blessed her. He said he did not often make remarks about babies,
but she certainly was a beautiful child. We frequently were
without flour for three months at a time. Once a man left us some
that we offered in fun for putty and the brothers were buying it.
It smelled like putty and looked like it. We had years of great
poverty in Dixie. My husband and sons worked on the Tabernacle
and Temple. My husband worked on the temple the entire time and
was among the first to get the greatest blessings the Lord has
to bestow upon his children.
Two more children were born to us in St. George, a daughter and a
son, our last baby. When he was seven years and six month old, he
was killed by lightning on the tabernacle steps, April 5, 1881.
Oh, that trial!! I thought that would kill me. It helped to
destroy my health. He was going to Martha's school. I tried to
be cheerful, and tried to comfort my family. I know it was wrong
to be selfish, even in grief, and although I kissed the rod and
thought the Lord wanted to chastize me, yet I know the Lord did
comfort me, I told them they were dear boys, but not my Willie.
He was very kind to me. Two nights before he was killed, he jumped
up out of bed when I was groaning with pain in my chest. He laid
his hands on me and prayed in the name of Jesus. He was an active,
quick, intelligent child. Brother Erastus Snow gave me great
comfort, when he returned from Salt Lake City. He spoke about the
accident in his fatherly manner. He said, "The boys are in a
higher school." He had lost one about Willie's age by diphtheria.
I realized all I had any claim to was in the graveyard. I cannot
say he was mine. We do not own anything on this earth only as our
Father will bestow blessings upon us, yet we are selfish and
think, "This is mine." Brother Snow advised my husband to take a
trip to Arizona, which we did, leaving March, 1882. I felt I could
not go unless my next youngest boy, Heber, went with us. He and my
youngest daughter, Josephine, both went. Father was in favor of
Heber staying in Arizona as the influence was better than at the
Reef, where he had been working, so I had to part with him, and
that was a great trial. He came in to be married and stayed all
the winter of 1883-1884, and we parted again. I have only one at
home, now, and I cannot expect to keep her long, as she is
eighteen, and there will be more parting, but I must not
anticipate trouble.
I feel certain that had I always kept the Word of Wisdom as I did
in England for a few years, I should have had more wisdom to teach
my children. When I as told about plural marriage by a brother in
England, before it was taught publicly, I went into a private room
and prayed I might have power given to me that I should never
speak against that principle, in my weak way. I have never doubted
the principle, but have always been afraid of my own weakness and
selfishness, but my children know I have taught them to do right
in it, and I would exhort my children to always honor the
Priesthood. We may be assured that the angels that attend us are
nigh unto us, and there is a power about us that will cause our
prayers to be answered, and we shall be chastened when we do
wrong. It is stated in my Patriarchal Blessing that I shall lay
hands on my sick children in the name of Jesus. I have never
employed a doctor but twice in my life for my children. Once in
England, but I did not let my child taste the medicine. I threw it
away. My prayer and fasting and keeping the Word of Wisdom when
she was announced by the servants of the Lord. She was miraculously
raised up. The doctor thought she could not live many hours. This
was my daughter Annie.. I am thankful all my children are in the
Church. We can live so we can have the whispering of the good
Spirit all the time. I know that every trial and affliction will
tend to purify us. I have bronchitis and my kidneys are affected.
This body is getting diseased and I feel _______. I know this body
must die, but I am thankful for the teaching of this Church. It has
taken the fear of death away. I used to be so frightened by the
"Ranters". They taught that our church was in error like the other
churches, and had no authority, even then I can be glad I had
joined it for the peace and happiness it has given me in this
life. I know this Church is owned and directed by God, himself. I
am thankful my spirit was sent to this earth the year the Church
was organized. In my childhood, I was delighted to read about the
angel opening the prison gate for the apostle of the Lord, and I
would say, "Oh, I wish I had lived in that day." When my husband
told me that the angel of the Lord had come and there were
apostles in the Church, it charmed me. I believed it. But we do
not always have the good spirit. No, I felt after that to oppose
it. I had opposition on every side, but the good spirit would wake
me up in the night and whisper, "If today thou wouldst hear my
voice, harden not thy heart." I did not go to hear them preach
before I was baptized. I read my Testament again. My husband
believed, and I was certain of the truth of it. I shall never
forget the feeling I had the first time I went to meeting to be
confirmed by a member. They sang, "Come All Ye Sons of Zion",
and "Let Us Praise the Lord". I have never heard it since without
thinking of the feeling I had when I first heard it. The Lord
blessed me with dreams by night and I think I have attended my
Sunday meetings with but few exceptions, but I have often partaken
of the Sacrament carelessly and stumbled many time, but I do
believe up to the present time, my sins are forgiven, and I feel
to forgive everyone and have no unkind feelings. I often think
what a blessing sleep is to the weary soul. When trouble bows us
down and we sleep, we forget, for the time, our sorrows, and our
bodies are refreshened. I could never sleep more than three hours
when in trouble. I feel assured all trials are for our good, if we
call on Father.
It is now November 1, 1885. I am having a very good time, now. I
have a quiet life, what old age requires. I feel thankful for the
blessing I enjoy. I have been nearly half my days in St. George.
The Lord has blessed us. We have food and clothing and I feel
thankful for all His blessings to me. How long I can enjoy life
as I do at the present, I know not, nor what trials I may have
to pass through, but if the Lord will bless me with His Holy
Spirit, I know I shall have strength according to my day. I have
felt happiness in my affliction, for the Lord has blessed me, and
I know we draw nigh unto our Father in our time of trouble. I do
hope our leaders will escape imprisonment for they have been tried
and tested. I would like to see them and hear their good
teachings, but would rather not see them again in this life than
that their enemies should find them. I feel like saying, "Oh Lord,
hide them up from their enemies, for their foes are they foes and
their friends are thy friends." Some of our apostles are
imprisoned for whom the world is not worthy to hold a candle.
Things are often revealed to me which prove that infidelity is
wrong. May we live so that we can be worthy of the whispering of
the Holy Spirit.
Copied by her granddaughter,
Ella J. Seegmiller, August 13, 1937 at St. George, Utah
Footnotes
While waiting for the young man to arrive, Ann announced
cheerfully, "I got a glimpse of the queen today riding in the royal
coach drawn by six prancing white horses. It was so exciting, for
she is such a great lady."
"Aye, and that she is," Mrs. Prior said sincerely. "And to think
that a good woman standing by me said that I looked very much like
our queen--enough to be related! Imgine that; I do so wish it were
true. Anyway, my bonnet looked as nice as the queen's. I was so
proud." Ann seemed completely overcome.
Appearing very serious, Mrs. Prior said quietly, "Perhaps now is
the proper time to tell you that you are indeed related to our dear
queen."
"Oh, Mother! How?" Ann exclaimed incredulously, "Why haven't you
told me before now? Does Margaret know?" "Yes, I know; mother told
me a few years ago," Margaret, who was spending the afternoon with
her mother, said softly. "At the time, I felt that you were too
young to think about such things; you must remember that Margaret
is seven years older than you," Mrs. Prior said calmly.
"Tell me now, then, Hurry; tell me, please!" Ann cried, fidgety
with excitement. "Just keep calm, dear; don't get yourself in such a
fatigue," Mrs. Prior said, "There isn't a thing we can do about it,
really. You see, your father was an illegitimate son of Prince
Edward, the queen's father; and being illegitimate, he had no rights
or claims on his royal father whatsoever. Your father was very
bitter, for he felt- and justly so- that his mother had been treated
shabbily. She had been a maid in theroyal household at the time the
precocious young princeling took advantage of her. When her
condition became known, she was promptly dismissed." Ann,
starry-eyed, asked, "Did father always know who he was?"
"No, dear, not until his mother was on her deathbed. At that time
she told him who his father was." Mrs. Prior sighed. "Now forget it;
I just thought I should tell you because you do so resemble the good
queen. As you grow older, it will be even more evident. People
already remark about it to me; but I don't tell them that you are
related, for it would do no good."
"Mother," Ann said, still in a sort of joyful daze, "did father
live to see his half sister become queen." Yes, Queen Victoria
ascended the throne in June of 1837, and your dear father, rest
his soul, passed away in November of that same year. He was
fifty-seven years of age; his young half sister was just eighteen
when she became queen." (Essence of Faith, pages 5,6,7)
